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A few months ago I was talking to the kids about what happens on Christmas, and I went through my family's routine, which involved mentioning going to different houses to have Christmas with each parent. This really confused the kids, so I had to explain that my parents are divorced. They were barely aware of this concept, as it's pretty rare and strongly discouraged in this culture. In fact, several of my students told me it's illegal in this country, but I've checked and it's not. I explained to the class what divorce is, having to explain it as if they were three (they were all 11-12), what with the somewhat limited English understanding compounding the fact that the idea of married people separating is inconceivable to them. I actually spent the entire class explaining it, because the kids kept asking questions. I knew it was mostly just a ploy to distract me from the lesson, but I never shy away from teaching them Western culture in addition to English, because I know it makes them learn something, even if they don't realize it. This conversation reminded me a lot of the divorce conversation I had with my host brother in Kenya, in which he suggested I bring my parents on Queen Latifah's talk show to get them back together. That was awesome.
In addition to the alien idea of having parents who aren't either happily married or pretending to be, I am also a few months from age 30 (by THEIR count) and unmarried. Bizarro. Kids are constantly asking me why I'm not married, or why I don't even have a boyfriend (whom they would assume I'd be married to within three months, as that seems to be the custom here at this age). When I say I oppose marriage, they say, but babies are so cute. Don't you want babies? And I say, you don't have to be married to have babies. And they get confused, the younger ones at least.
My first graders have lately been pretending I actually am married for some reason. They got on my case a few days ago when Leon (the new teacher) came in to get a book and they all said you LIIIIIKE him, you're MARRRRRIED, because for them it's natural that the only foreigners they know must get together. Back when Steven was around and he was the only other foreigner at our branch of Kate LA, they used to ask me if I liked him and all that. I just told them he's already married, and that shut them up, thank god. I can't do that with Leon, though. Leon, why aren't you married?
Then the day after this happened, one of my second graders was patting my stomach because it's not perfectly flat and I was wearing a form-fitting sweater. He said something about there being a baby in there, and the other boy in the class latched onto the idea and started giving me pretend medical exams with pens and erasers and stuff, talking about my baby. The girls picked up on it, too, and they all started naming my baby. They named it Blia Q. because B comes after A and Q comes after P, and the baby has to have my name, but with different letters at the beginning. That's a rule they made up on their own, of course. Then Danny, the one giving the "exam" wrote this message on a post-it note and posted it on my stomach:
After that, Danny "found" another baby in my stomach and the twin ended up being named Chalia Q. Haha. They also said that Kent was the father because I have a picture of us riding an elephant in the room.
A few days before, the same boy, Danny, was asking me if I got married and had a kid, would it be Korean? And I said that would depend on the father. I think half my kids are assuming I'm going to get married to a Korean guy while I'm here. The other half assume it will be Leon. The pressure. Anyway, Danny said what if I married a Korean man, and I said the baby would be a hybrid. Then he started talking about if I had the baby in London, and I was like, what are you TALKING about? He defended: for example, for example. Then I said the baby would be the same no matter where it was born. Then he said could I have a baby that was totally Korean, and I said, no, because I'm not Korean. And he conceded, but he said when I have a baby, I should say it's Korean and say "America is bad" and teach it only Korean and not English. He's a nationalist.
