Things I Miss

Couch, or at least armchair. Something to sit on that doesn't require me to put a pillow behind me or under me.

Living in an apartment that doesn't smell like sewage two or three times a day for 30-60 minutes.

The Daily Show, even though I never got to watch it back home. I see commercials for it on CNN sometimes, and man, that show is so funny.

Knowing about company events before they happen, and knowing which days I get off ahead of time. We had an open house kind of event for the parents of our students, and I wasn't told about it until the day before, and was told nothing about what the event was. My boss called it a "seminar" and I thought it was a teacher workshop that involved us learning how to be better teachers. Boy, was I wrong. Additionally, Korea has many "holidays," but we don't get all of them off. I rarely know for certain which upcoming holiday I'm getting off.

Getting Monday off in honor of a holiday that falls on a Saturday or Sunday, or holidays that always fall on a certain day. They don't do that here, so we miss out on a lot of days off.

Being able to buy dairy products at a reasonable price. A quart of milk costs as much as I used to pay for a half gallon. Cheese is so outrageously priced that I get government cheese from Kent. Ice cream is ridiculous, too, and they don't have chocolate, anyway. They do have neopolitan ice cream for a decent price, but the quality isn't very good, and I don't like vanilla, so it makes me angry to buy it. I still do, though.

Wheat bread. They have wheat bread here, but it's like, gourmet. It costs twice as much to get a tiny loaf of wheat bread (not just tiny as in fewer pieces, but tiny as in the size of each slice, too) as it does to get a giant loaf of white bread, which has about three times as much bread.

Really, buying affordable food in general--dairy, bread, peanut butter, jelly, spaghetti sauce, pasta, most fruits and vegetables, butter, eggs, juice, canned soup (which I don't buy), cereal, even all the Korean food I buy like mandu and seafood patties are all two to four times what I'd pay in the US. Pretty much the only food that doesn't cost and arm and a leg is rice. My apartment actually came with rice. I haven't touched it.

Not having to take my work home with me. I've greatly reduced the amount of it I take home with me, so now I only take home homework to correct on Friday, but that usually means I give back homework a day late. Oh, well.

Not having to strongly enunciate in order to be understood.

Bedsheets and pillowcases. They use one thin quilt (not fitted) as a bottom sheet, and the only covering is the bedspread. Pillowcases are replaced by frilly pillow shams.

A dresser and closet. I have to put my clothes on shelves and hang my button down shirts and dresses on my drying rack.

Counter space.

Instant access to hot water. Here, you have to turn on the hot water and wait for it to warm up.

The rest of my wardrobe. I didn't have much room to bring clothing and such, since a lot of my suitcase space was spent on toiletries that they either don't have here, or which are really expensive. Consequently, I'm wearing pretty much the same clothes all the time, even though I have bought a few more shirts since I've been here.

Affordable toiletries. I didn't bring enough facial wash and moisturizer to last me the year. A bottle of Clearasil costs over 13 bucks. Man. Korean products aren't as bad, but are still a bit pricey.

Shower stall or curtain. Korean showers are just part of the rest of the bathroom, and pretty much wet all the time. I have to use a rag to wipe off my toilet seat and cover in case I want to use the toilet in the next five hours.

Trash cans with covers.

My Mac. This PC is bullshit.

Being able to call any number or go anywhere or read any sign without needing a translator. I try to practice my limited Korean skills whenever I can, though.

Dad's massive TV.

My yoga studio in LA. The yoga here just doesn't cut it. I'm changing studios this week, though, to a more traditional hatha yoga studio that Heather found. It's cheaper, too.
Probably more stuff, too, but I'll do this again in a couple months.

Public Urination

One day a couple months ago I was at the park, sitting by a big Greek theatresque structure, which had a nonfunctioning fountain at the base. There were a ton of kids playing around the area, as always, and as I looked at one little boy playing on the steps, I saw a funny sight. Ever so nonchalantly, he pulled down his pants a little and took a piss right on the steps. Then he pulled up his waistband again and went on with his play.

Tonight as I walked out of the building I work in, I saw another little boy standing outside a parked car with one of the back doors open. His pants were around his ankles and he was, for some reason, pulling his shirt all the way up past his chest. It was dark, and I thought it would be rude to keep looking right at him at such close proximity, but I'm pretty sure he was also peeing. Right at the car, too. There was someone I assume was his grandmother sitting in the seat next to the open door, who noticed a lot of people were now coming out of this and other buildings, so she hurried him up, starting to pull him back toward the car. As I got past the car, I started laughing, and so did his grandmother. I wonder if this practice segues into sleazy adult public urination, or if they curb it by adolescence...

No pictures this time. Sorry.

Oriental Medicine

After finding my Korean-Western hybrid doctor incompetent and deciding to forego that BS, my boss convinced me to go to the Oriental hospital, which is right next to the clinic I went to for my neverending colds and allergies and such. There are like a million hospitals around here.

I was hesitant to go to this Oriental hospital because I know that guys are all into the acupuncture. I went to acupuncture in LA and was treated by an acupuncturist who came very highly recommended (although he was white, booooo). Let me tell, you I've never had a worse medical experience, and probably the only other experience worse than that acupuncture was incurring the herniated cervical disc that the acupuncture was trying to cure. I went five times. The first time it wasn't so bad, but each time after that got steadily worse, until I was crying from the pain each time one of the maaany needles went in. I still have nightmares (not really).

Anyway, Heather told me I didn't have to do acupuncture (liar), but the doctor could just feel me up (not her words) and be able to tell what was wrong. So I went. He did feel me up, and told me (well, Heather, since he doesn't speak English) that the problems in my arms and legs are not the same problem. How bizarre. The symptoms and time of onset are the same...

He said the problem with my elbow is like tennis elbow, but clearly not tennis elbow, since that's accompanied by pain, and all I get is numbness. Heather couldn't explain the problem with my legs in English (could he in Korean?), but she eventually told me something like my legs are retaining water. When you push down on my skin, the skin stays indented for a long time. That's not normal? So she says it's not the fat in my legs that's keeping the impression there, but water. I don't get it.

I agreed to be treated both from desperation and curiosity about the experience. The doctor said it's a damn good thing I got to him when I did. They can't cure this in the US. I had to see him three times a week for at least two weeks. Here is the regimen:

1) Acupuncture for fifteen minutes. Three to four needles in my forearms and three to six needles in my calves. This was significantly less than what LA acupuncturist was putting in me, so it was much better (although sometimes a bit jarring). Clips were attached to several of the needles and electricity was run through me. I was not a fan of this. Sometimes the electicity increased, so much that my hands would start jumping around. No one speaks any English around there, and it was really hard to communicate what amount of electricity was right to begin with, and which part of me was getting too much later.

2) As at the other hospital, suction cups were attached to my arms (but also to my legs this time), and electricity again was passed through me for fifteen minutes. Those suction cups leave wicked marks.

3) Now begins the fun part. After electricity, I turned around and put my ankles on this machine with like ankle stirrups and my legs got shaken for five minutes.

4) Another five minutes in the massage chair, like the ones at Brookstone. This thing was heavy-duty. I really felt like someone was pounding and kneading my back. No wonder they're so expensive.

5) At home, I had to take three doses a day of what is probably the nastiest medicine ever created. It was really terrible. And expensive. I'm too embarassed to say how much I paid for it, so don't let the curiosity burn deep within you. I seem to have gotten a free nylong bag out of the deal, though.

Here's the medicine and medicine bag:

I had to boil the medicine, let it cool, and drink it a half hour after eating. I'm really not sure if I had to boil it to make it work, or if I was boiling it to make it less nonpalatable. I did notice it was better when hot than when cold. I had to drink it cold at work, and boil it before I went in. Yuck. A lot of my students knew exactly what it was and told me about their experiences with it. Funny.

The result? After two weeks of all that, the doctor told Heather I wasn't cured (he showed her the pushing in my skin trick), because Western people's skin is thinner than Asian people's skin. I'd have to do another two weeks, or more. Screw that. I thought I felt better for like two days at the end of the treatment, but I think that was just coincidence. As long as I don't sit still too long or put weight on my body, my limbs don't fall asleep. I may just not have been exposing myself to unfavorable conditions during those two days.

Heather "leally" wants me to go back, because she thinks American doctors actually can't fix me. She's going to try and see if she can get a discount on the medicine. We'll see how that goes.

THE TOMSTORY

I saw this on one of my students' t-shirts a couple weeks ago, but haven't had time to put it on the blog. Naturally, I stopped class to copy this down, which of course led to questions about what the hell I was doing. So I explained to them about Engrish and how funny it is to us. They didn't quite understand, being like 7 years old and all, but I think they soooooort of got something about what I was saying. I think it boggles their mind as much as ours that something like a t-shirt or a sign could have bad English on it, since it's made professionally, but they don't have the grasp of English to realize anything is wrong, so they don't exactly believe me.

By the way, I referred to it as "bad English" to them, too, and they thought I meant "bad words." Before they got all excited about a first-grader's shirt with swear words on it, I had to explain to them that I meant "wrong English."

Wear the Love
Love is wearing THE TOMSTORY with your family. "When I remind of our family love. Love is beloning to someone who really loves you. Love is taking time out to be with the family. Love is wearing THE TOMSTORY with your family
Love is beloning to someone who really loves you.

I don't know what THE TOMSTORY is, but I assume it's the brand of clothing. That's kind of sick.